Blame Game

I am going to hold me hands up and say I used to be really be brilliant at the blame game. (I am pleased to say I am a lot better now!) As soon as anything went wrong I looked to see whose fault it could be. Why? Blaming someone else helped me to cope with the situation better and to feel more in control but actually its horrid and it is toxic. In the moment, when we blame, it gives us a vent for our emotions and the feels of pain and discomfort. I see it in business all the time. Team members blaming each other or the leadership team when they aren’t happen with a decision or a strategy or when something doesn’t work. It isn’t helpful and creates another toxic environment. 

As many of you know I am a fan of Brene Brown. She has a video clip about blame which sums it up brilliantly. Click on this link to watch it. It is funny but there serious message is really helpful. She explains how in blaming others we demonstrate a lack of courage and strength to hold others accountable. It also means we lose our ability to be empathetic.

When things aren’t going the way you want to it isn’t easy to feel empathy. But here are my top tops:

  1. Slow things down. Resist the temptation to quickly jump to blame. Be patient.
  2. Listen to others. Really listen.
  3. Ask questions to gain greater understanding.
  4. Be kind.
  5. Ask questions to help reach a solution.​

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Blame Game

I am going to hold me hands up and say I used to be really be brilliant at the blame game. (I am pleased to say I am a lot better now!) As soon as anything went wrong I looked to see whose fault it could be. Why? Blaming someone else helped me to cope with the situation better and to feel more in control but actually its horrid and it is toxic. In the moment, when we blame, it gives us a vent for our emotions and the feels of pain and discomfort. I see it in business all the time. Team members blaming each other or the leadership team when they aren’t happen with a decision or a strategy or when something doesn’t work. It isn’t helpful and creates another toxic environment. 

As many of you know I am a fan of Brene Brown. She has a video clip about blame which sums it up brilliantly. Click on this link to watch it. It is funny but there serious message is really helpful. She explains how in blaming others we demonstrate a lack of courage and strength to hold others accountable. It also means we lose our ability to be empathetic.

When things aren’t going the way you want to it isn’t easy to feel empathy. But here are my top tops:

  1. Slow things down. Resist the temptation to quickly jump to blame. Be patient.
  2. Listen to others. Really listen.
  3. Ask questions to gain greater understanding.
  4. Be kind.
  5. Ask questions to help reach a solution.​

SHARE THIS POST

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If you are interested and would like to find out more, contact Lucy today. Call 07810 205781 / email Lucy@lucytullochcoaching.co.uk or fill in the form below.

"It is clear to me that our half years’ worth of work provided a quantum shift in the way I think, which has helped me understand the values that are important to me so enabling me to understand the route and direction in which I want to take next."

KB - Deputy Head Teacher and Educational Consultant

2019-06-24T13:20:17+00:00

KB - Deputy Head Teacher and Educational Consultant

"It is clear to me that our half years’ worth of work provided a quantum shift in the way I think, which has helped me understand the values that are important to me so enabling me to understand the route and direction in which I want to take next."
"Lucy’s skills and knowledge, empathy and professionalism have completely won me over. Her ability to get to the heart of blocks and anxieties is almost uncanny"

Eley McAinsh - Writer, Editor, Producer.

2019-06-24T13:15:32+00:00

Eley McAinsh - Writer, Editor, Producer.

"Lucy’s skills and knowledge, empathy and professionalism have completely won me over. Her ability to get to the heart of blocks and anxieties is almost uncanny"
"I would highly recommend Lucy to anyone who feels that they need to make a change of some sort, whether externally or simply their own feelings about a situation."

Emma - Marketing Manager

2019-06-24T13:09:11+00:00

Emma - Marketing Manager

"I would highly recommend Lucy to anyone who feels that they need to make a change of some sort, whether externally or simply their own feelings about a situation."
"I found it very helpful to be listened too and for my thought processes to be valued for what they were, which supported me in having the confidence to take on alternative ways of thinking or doing things."

Sophy - Teacher

2019-06-24T13:04:42+00:00

Sophy - Teacher

"I found it very helpful to be listened too and for my thought processes to be valued for what they were, which supported me in having the confidence to take on alternative ways of thinking or doing things."
“Lucy Tulloch is extremely perceptive and insightful. She can hold and unite a group while including each different individual and noticing where each person might develop and grow. She is warm and fun. I would totally recommend her as a coach, she is in the right job!”

JA - Digital Marketeer

2019-06-07T11:41:40+00:00

JA - Digital Marketeer

“Lucy Tulloch is extremely perceptive and insightful. She can hold and unite a group while including each different individual and noticing where each person might develop and grow. She is warm and fun. I would totally recommend her as a coach, she is in the right job!”
"She has enabled me to bring my level of awareness to the forefront and reminded me of the mechanisms I can use to deal with general concerns and worry. Lucy's coaching has enabled me to feel much more positive and confident about the future direction of my life."

Maxima - Specialist Online Business Retailer

2019-06-24T13:10:17+00:00

Maxima - Specialist Online Business Retailer

"She has enabled me to bring my level of awareness to the forefront and reminded me of the mechanisms I can use to deal with general concerns and worry. Lucy's coaching has enabled me to feel much more positive and confident about the future direction of my life."
"This has been a brand-new experience for me and I found it very insightful and useful, in how I need to tackle things I have put off and addressing changes I need to make."

Sales Consultant, Holiday Architects, Cheltenham

2019-06-24T13:12:34+00:00

Sales Consultant, Holiday Architects, Cheltenham

"This has been a brand-new experience for me and I found it very insightful and useful, in how I need to tackle things I have put off and addressing changes I need to make."
"Lucy was already known to me and I have always found her to be professional, approachable and a great listener.  My experience of using Lucy as a coach has reinforced that opinion but has also shown me how naturally Lucy put me at ease."

M.T, Oxfordshire

2019-06-24T13:13:49+00:00

M.T, Oxfordshire

"Lucy was already known to me and I have always found her to be professional, approachable and a great listener.  My experience of using Lucy as a coach has reinforced that opinion but has also shown me how naturally Lucy put me at ease."
"Lucy has the insight to ask probing questions and get at the heart of the problem, at the same time maintaining the right balance of encouraging, listening and understanding. As a result, she has empowered me to make choices that align with my values and I will continue with the practices to stay attuned to what matters most to me in the present moment."

KB - Deputy Head Teacher and Educational Consultant

2019-06-24T13:19:30+00:00

KB - Deputy Head Teacher and Educational Consultant

"Lucy has the insight to ask probing questions and get at the heart of the problem, at the same time maintaining the right balance of encouraging, listening and understanding. As a result, she has empowered me to make choices that align with my values and I will continue with the practices to stay attuned to what matters most to me in the present moment."
"By posing the question 'Do we have any evidence to support this theory' I am able to tackle dilemmas more rationally rather than form an assumption based on speculation."

Sophy - Teacher

2019-06-24T13:02:37+00:00

Sophy - Teacher

"By posing the question 'Do we have any evidence to support this theory' I am able to tackle dilemmas more rationally rather than form an assumption based on speculation."
"Lucy and I worked through what was important to me professionally and personally and she helped me to see everything more clearly and, most importantly, to feel that I was in control of the situation."

Emma - Marketing Manager

2019-06-24T13:08:31+00:00

Emma - Marketing Manager

"Lucy and I worked through what was important to me professionally and personally and she helped me to see everything more clearly and, most importantly, to feel that I was in control of the situation."
"Honest discussions and motivational chats were highly beneficial and I can guarantee that I will be using what I learnt from Lucy throughout the rest of my career."

KB - Deputy Head Teacher and Educational Consultant

2019-06-24T13:18:46+00:00

KB - Deputy Head Teacher and Educational Consultant

"Honest discussions and motivational chats were highly beneficial and I can guarantee that I will be using what I learnt from Lucy throughout the rest of my career."
"Lucy has helped me on so many levels to change the way I think and therefore to approach things in a different way. Thank you Lucy. I have learned many life lessons that will support me in all manner of situations in the future."

Sophy - Teacher

2019-06-24T13:06:29+00:00

Sophy - Teacher

"Lucy has helped me on so many levels to change the way I think and therefore to approach things in a different way. Thank you Lucy. I have learned many life lessons that will support me in all manner of situations in the future."
"I was thrilled to have the opportunity to work with Lucy as my coach as I already knew her to be professional, insightful, logical and completely non-judgmental."

Emma - Marketing Manager

2019-06-24T13:07:49+00:00

Emma - Marketing Manager

"I was thrilled to have the opportunity to work with Lucy as my coach as I already knew her to be professional, insightful, logical and completely non-judgmental."

 

A SELECTION OF LUCY’S CLIENTS

A SELECTION OF LUCY’S CLIENTS