Blame Game

I am going to hold me hands up and say I used to be really be brilliant at the blame game. (I am pleased to say I am a lot better now!) As soon as anything went wrong I looked to see whose fault it could be. Why? Blaming someone else helped me to cope with the situation better and to feel more in control but actually its horrid and it is toxic. In the moment, when we blame, it gives us a vent for our emotions and the feels of pain and discomfort. I see it in business all the time. Team members blaming each other or the leadership team when they aren’t happen with a decision or a strategy or when something doesn’t work. It isn’t helpful and creates another toxic environment. 

As many of you know I am a fan of Brene Brown. She has a video clip about blame which sums it up brilliantly. Click on this link to watch it. It is funny but there serious message is really helpful. She explains how in blaming others we demonstrate a lack of courage and strength to hold others accountable. It also means we lose our ability to be empathetic.

When things aren’t going the way you want to it isn’t easy to feel empathy. But here are my top tops:

1. Slow things down. Resist the temptation to quickly jump to blame. Be patient.
2. Listen to others. Really listen.
3. Ask questions to gain greater understanding.
4. Be kind.
5. Ask questions to help reach a solution.​

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